Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:08 pm Post subject: Thank You
First off, I'm not leaving or anything so yall can take down the balloons. The title may be misleading for some ppl.
I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to everybody. No specific names will be given for you all have some part in this. As you all know I haven't really been around that often since around the end of Sept. I've made a few posts on the forums and played a few games here and there while in TS, but all in all pretty much MIA. I was in a bad state and didn't want to really put anybody through that. I had bad feelings/thoughts, I still do occasionally, and would find myself short tempered. I tried my best to hold it back, but some days it was just every little thing. I never got mad at anyone around me. I played off being fine and dandy as I always have over the years. After this though I just lost all train of composure, at home anyway. I've never felt that way before and was just kinda scared, I guess you could say, that I was gonna go off on someone that didn't deserve it. I don't know...I'm getting off track here.
Back on topic, the reason I have been missing is cause I lost a good friend Sept. 3. The kind of friend that you think will be around forever, because you think that they have a purpose in life. She was going somewhere and was going to be someone. When it happened I was just kinda in shock I guess. Couldn't believe it/Didn't believe it. I was just in denial of it happening. I couldn't even build myself up to see her at the funeral, I sat in the back during the ceremony as well. I was pretty much everyone's rock. I've always been the strong person people could come to. I wasn't crying,outside, I was just being myself that day. Bringing smiles to everyone I could/reminiscing memories we've had with her, amongst other things to help others cope. After it was over, her three sisters, closest friend and brother in-law an I were last to leave. I made sure they left in good spirits. Afterwards, I went home, alone as I've done for 11 years now? Wow I'm old. I still had denial running through my head. Every time I'd go onto facebook I expect her have some story about work, her new phone, funny pics with friends or that freaking horoscope thing that always comes up...anyway.
We go to an anime convention in Atlanta every year at the end of Sept. It wasn't until after that, that it really hit me she's actually gone. When I got home all of these thoughts were just filling my head. Bad thoughts, dark thoughts...It was really hard to keep them under control. I turned to Youtube for funny vids, been playing the hell out of GTA Online as well as playing a little CoD 2, incognito. Dingleberry anyone? I just had to keep my mind occupied to keep the "demons" at bay. I was in a rut I guess you could say.
Anyway, what this is all boiling down to is this. No matter what form, whether it be the forums, in-game or in TS. You all can always put me in a good mood. Even in my darkest of days I can get a chuckle out the forums and believe it or not that little bit helps a lot. That's why this is titled thank you. I want to thank each and every one of you for being who you are. I appreciate this community for what it is and am thankful for being a part of it. I guess you could say, you all are my rock.
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:56 am Post subject: Re: Thank You
First off...you're right, that's exactly what I thought, that you were leaving. Damn happy you're not!
I'm very sorry for what you're going through as I lost my best friend to cancer at 35 (yes that was a long-ass time ago for me...though sometimes it doesn't seem like it). As Nicky said, it's a depressing and horrible experience. Time.
We all come here to play and forget the everyday stresses and you're a big part of why it works, Stunt. It's an excellent thing that we can rely on each other for a good laugh now and then.
You have my heartfelt best wishes and a thanks for the same in return.
Nick, I would say obnoxious and argumentative and prick. Don't change a thing.
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:50 pm Post subject: Re: Thank You
For all practical purposes, I'm unable to relate to everything you're dealing with, Stunt. Either way, it's good to see you again. Like Gimp said, this is a way to escape everyday life, be it by committing virtual war crimes or listening as Biggie regales us with philosophy and tales of intoxicated adventures. This whole "gigantic bunch of assholes" (thanks Tater) is just here to hang out and share a few laughs. You can always count on that.
Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:38 pm Post subject: Re: Thank You
I know I am always the one that tends to go off on people, and i'm an asshole as some people would say, But I say this, My deepest sympathies for your stunt. Losing a best friend is horrible. I know you have been trying to keep positive, but letting out the feeling isn't at all bad. time to yourself, time to talk to others, or just being goofy may be a way some people cope. She sounded like a very good person. It hit you all at once. I had a friend die suddenly a couple years ago, and i pretty much acted the same way you did, then there was a short time it hit me and I broke down. He left behind a girlfriend and his kid ( i think she's 6 now??). He died suddenly, enlarged heart and high blood pressure took his life one morning, she found him on the floor, a big shock to everyone. He had diabetes to boot. He seemed like he changed more towards the end. He was going to church and playing in the band they had, such a great guy. A total shock to everyone. I still think of him every so often..
I hope you get better stunt. It's a terrible thing I know. You have us to talk to though, or make you laugh, or to shoot in the server. Cheer up old chap.
Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: Thank You
The rock falls and skips upon the water.The feather falls and breaks your back.
Man,Stunt, There isnt any cover to this.
Not from the cold or the rain that we pass in.
The joy of everyday lies within the realization that we dont raise or set the sun.
All of my understanding will pale in this moment,but we all stand together in it.
Take a moment. A moment to cry,ponder,step back,consider, the close lost and rage begotten.
The Sun also offers no cover; ebb,flow,live,die,love,hate,laugh,cry,think,depose,slip,grab onto and embrace every single happy and painful ounce of this,your time.
Fuck,i cant delete and re write this again.
Stunt, I love ya,feel,and i mean knowingly FEEL your loss.
Keep your eyes and heart wide open,cause we all do,whether we say so or not.
The last friend that I will ever have is me. But I thank God for you.
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